Dear Ms. Pint of Sierra Nevada

Dear Ms. Pint of Sierra Nevada,

As I hold you in my hand right now, I smile. You are safely nestled in a pint glass that features logos for Coors and Fosters. I sincerely apologize. I do at times forgo you delightfully hoppy, yet smooth aleness to consume cheap, happy hour beer. But this is not because I don’t thoroughly enjoy you. It is because sometimes I have to mix it up. Its not you, its me, really. This letter is to express my deep feelings for you.

When we first met, I have to admit that I didn’t like you. You were too bitter for me. I was at my friend Chris’s house and his roommate Bobbie had you in 12 ounce form with 5 of your buddies. Usually I would call this a six-pack, but Sierra Nevada, you are too good to be in a six pack. You are an individual. You deserve more than to be bundled up with others. As I drank you for the first time, I couldn’t stand you. The bitterness swelled in my palate forcing me to give the beer back to Bobbie, “I’m sorry man, do you have something else?” I have never since ever given you away like that and I promise that I never will. That night I treated you like one of many instead of the special thing that you are.

Our relationship is much different now. We have grown together, shaping each other’s personalities. But this is a healthy relationship. We do not have any attachment issues as I have seen other people/beer couples. We enjoy our time together but I love how we both have our own lives and maintain our individuality. You have been there for me and I sincerely appreciate all that you have done throughout our relationship. It started off rocky but I’m so happy that we are where we are at right now.

We have hung out many times and you often come in different forms. I must say that I like it most when you get nice and sexy in a pint glass. There are those 33 oz monsters that you get dressed up at Woodstock’s and I like that too, but nothing compares to you in a simple, yet elegant pint glass that lends itself perfectly to my personality and yours. I also like when you get oldfashioned and wear your brown bottle with that green lables of yours, but I cannot keep you in those clothes for long. In minutes, I have you unclothed, poured into a pint glass of my choosing. Usually the pint glass is whatever is clean in the dishwasher, but I try to put you in something nice. Those 99 cent coca cola cups don’t do you justice. I’m sorry if I’ve ever put you in a situation that is not proper.

Your taste is smooth and refreshing. You start off sweet, but then the bitterness follows your beerness to the roof of my mouth, slowly filling my mouth with a hoppy taste that I can’t resist. I love it when you do that to me. The aftertaste you leave me took a while to get used to, but now it just reminds me of the last sip, tempting me to take another. The next sip is even better as your yeast sediment continues its decent to the bottom of the glass. This time the sip is sweeter, with less of a hoppyness on the roof of my mouth. Every sip is a unique experience. Thank you. You keep our relationship fresh and I feel like you really make an effort to mix things up. Relationships can get stale but you always try your best to make sure that ours doesn’t.

Thank you Ms. Pint of Sierra Nevada. I look forward to the next time we meet.

Deepest regards,

Eric

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